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When Did Life Get So Complicated?!

pancake on plate
Photo by Rama Khandkar on Pexels.com

It’s pancake day today. I like pancakes. We had American style chocolate chip mini pancakes for lunch and we are having thin large pancakes for dinner (I would call them ‘normal’ pancakes, but that might be a matter of opinion!).

Our pancakes for dinner will be a mixture of savoury and sweet. I plan to chop up some vegetables, grate some cheese, put out some cold meats and have a self-assembly system. But I needed more milk and eggs for the pancakes and some vegetables and cold meats. Most of the meal!

Off I trot to the local shop. An easy task, you would think. There’s a Tesco Express about a kilometre away that stocks all of those things (for those not in the UK – Tesco Express is a small shop that stocks a slimmed down range of supermarket products and a kilometre is a bit less than a mile).

It’s a nice day, warm and not raining. I can get out without needing the canoe, waders or even wellies! Good day for a short walk. So the three of us set off to use the walk to the shop as our ‘daily exercise’. It was lovely not to need a hat or scarf but I wasn’t brave enough to go without gloves!

Only one person is allowed into the shop under current Covid-19 restrictions, so I popped in on my own, trying to put my face mask on with my gloves on as I walked up to the entrance. It took me three attempts – I could feel when the elastic was over my ear.

Then I stepped through the sliding door and into the shop. Straught inside the door is a sanitising station. What do I do? I can’t put sanitiser on my gloves. I could take them off, put sanitiser on, then put them back on. But that makes the sanitiser a bit pointless. I could take them off, put them in a shopping basket and then sanitise my hands, leaving my gloves in the basket with the shopping. That would work but would take a few minutes because I would also have to sanitise the handle of the basket.

By the time I had considered my options, there was a queue forming behind me as I was blocking the entrance. I settled for keeping my gloves on and hoping!

funny black woman choosing food in grocery shop
Photo by RF._.studio on Pexels.com

I easily collected the vegetables I wanted and moved on to the cooked meat section. They had packs of mixed meats, some prosciutto, salami and chorizo, sliced and ready to use. Perfect. I picked one up, quite grateful for my gloves because the fridge was quite cold.

I collected the other things I needed and headed to the checkout. Tesco Express has 2 self-checkout machines and one counter. I went to the only one available – a self-checkout machine, which objected to nearly everything I scanned. The checkout assistant had to override the machine so much that it became a routine. Rachel scans item, assistant pushes button on her till to override machine, Rachel scans item, assistant pushes button to override machine – you get the picture. Then I got to the mixed meats. It scanned okay and as I went to put it in my bag, I realised that I had two packs stuck together!

What should I do? I didn’t want two packets, but I can’t put one back because there are people waiting to use this machine. I can’t just leave one somewhere. That’s a bit mean because it should be in the fridge – and there was nowhere I could put it. I couldn’t ask the assistant to put it back because she was serving an older chap who was struggling and needed a lot of input.

But…I could put both packs in my bag. The assistant would just push the override button and no one would know.

But…That’s stealing. It’s illegal, unethical and wrong. I have never deliberately stolen anything in my life.

But…it seemed like the most sensible option.

“What did you do?” I hear you yell. I think I did the most cowardly and British thing I could and scanned both. Paying for two items when I only wanted one!

I’m going to send one of the othes into the shop next time. It’s all too stresfull for me!

sliced meat on brown wooden chopping board
Photo by Paola Vasquez on Pexels.com

Are Boats Good in Floods?

You might be surprised!

The BBB men ferrying things off the boat. All images by author

This is the worst year for flooding that we’ve had since we moved aboard. We have only had a few non-flooded days since Christmas and on Christmas Eve it felt like Planet Earth had given up with land. And on some of the non-flooded days, it was snowing! At least that was a change – I quite like a bit of snow!

Today, I am watching the detritus whoosh past the boat in the floodwater. Mainly bits of tree, some times most of a tree. Often bits of wood, from fences and moorings that are damaged by the flood. Lots of balls, I think there will be a lot of disappointed dogs! A curious amount of cabbage and the other day a fridge came flowing past! It looked very clean, quite new and in good condition – apart from being in the river!

But there is a question I am asked all the time. “Boats are good in floods, aren’t they?”

If I had a litre of water for everyone who says “You’re okay – in the best place”. I’d have a lot of showers and make lots of tea! I’d probably have enough for a bath, if only I had a bathtub!

I have heard it so much over the last month that I thought I’d explain the issues that flooding causes boaters. You know about the problems we have with getting water so I won’t go into that again (we haven’t filled up the tank since the 1st December. We have been filling up bottles at a friend’s outside tap). This is the actual problem of a boat staying safe in floodwater.

Mooring 1: Mooring Pins into a Grass Verge

During the summer months, you’ll see a lot of boats moored alongside rivers or canals with either metal pins hammered into the grass with the ropes tied to them, or attached to the metal edge of the mooring.

Not many boats will use these over the winter, but we were caught out using mooring pins in an unexpected flood at the end of March. We thought the risk of flooding was over. We were wrong!

When the river is fine, they work well. As you can see in the image above. But when the level rises they aren’t good. As you can see in the image below.

The boat is still joined to the mooring pin, but it can’t rise with the water, so it ends up at a jaunty angle. This is going to make everything fall off the shelves and the people will think they’re drunk. But it is worse than that.
Boats have drainage holes along the front and back to let out rainwater and holes to let the sinks drain into the river. If a boat is on the wonk the drainage holes let water in rather than out and the boat sinks.

Those logical people among you might have come up with a solution. Tie the rope to the pin with a lot more slack when you know there is a flood coming. Let’s look at that option.

As long as they have a board to get on, that will be fine…won’t it?

Nope. That’s not a good option, either. In reality, the boat would probably snag on something (the rope, the mooring pin, uneven grass) and tip sideways into the river. If I were clever enough to draw animations I would show you – but I’m not!

So – mooring pins is not the way to go in a flood. What else can we do?

Mooring 2: Flood Poles

This is what the BBB’s winter home has. You may have seen them. Boats tied up to scaffolding poles. Sometimes they are against the riverbank, sometimes as part of some staging.

When we first started mooring against flood poles we tied the boat to the pole. Really securely – we didn’t want to boat to float away, did we?! Then we had a flood and realised that you shouldn’t tie to flood poles!

Looks nice and safe. When the river rises…?

Now, we don’t tie to the flood pole. Instead, we loop the rope around or use mooring rings (steel hoops that go over the pole and you join the rope to – there is one in the flood photo above) and the poles work much better.

Yay! The boat is moored in a flood and no one has drowned!

There is a thrid style of mooring that we haven’t looked at yet.

Mooring 3: Floating Staging

This is the kind of mooring that you often see in commercial marinas. The moorings are made of wood or a strange type of nonslip plastic stagings joined to vertical runners.

The boat is tied to the plastic or wooden staging (or very occasionally concrete – who knew that would float!) and as the river rises, the staging rises with it. The boat floats up with the staging. Almost perfect!

Let’s look at a diagram.

And when it floods?

They don’t even get wet feet!

I have always thought that flood poles with hoops and floating staging style moorings were…as safe as houses! Until this winter. This winter has thrown a whole new load of challenges at us boaters!

Winter 2020/21 Problems

Can you spot the problem with this picture (other than the word ‘River’ not fitting in the picture)? Look at the rope and the flood pole. The river has risen so high that they have run out of pole. Now, the boat is in very fast-flowing flood water and not tied on.

This happened to the rear (stern) rope on the BBB on Christmas Eve. We woke up when it was still dark to find the back of the boat in the middle of the river. The river had risen so high that we ran out of pole at the back. Thankfully we were still joined at the front, but we had to find some other things to tie to. It was a very scary time and totally unexpected. If you’d have asked me a month ago whether I thought the poles were too short, I’d have laughed at you. It would take an inland tsunami to raise the boat high enough to have a problem. I was very wrong. We ran out of rear pole on Christmas Eve, secured the boat as best we could, assuming that the river couldn’t rise any higher and left (using an inflatable canoe – the land was underwater). The river went up a lot more over Christmas Day and Boxing Day and we probably wouldn’t still have the BBB if our neighbours hadn’t helped.

But we weren’t the only people to struggle. I always thought that people with floating moorings were invincible. Nothing could be a problem for them.

Do you remember the detritus that I mentioned at the beginning? The trees, wood, balls, cabbage and fridge? It’s not an issue when it flows down the middle of the river (for me – it’s a pain for the people who maintain the sluices), but at the edge of the river it can get caught up around the boats and that can cause big problems.
We had a big bit of wood wedged between the boat and the mooring which stopped the boat rising with the water. You don’t need a picture to know what happens if the boat doesn’t rise, do you? You’ve got the idea – glug, glug, glug! We have the same issue when the river starts to drop. Stuff can get stuck and stop the boat descending.

This is also a problem for floating staging. The staging doesn’t float because debris that comes with the floodwater gets stuck in the mechanism. This Christmas, some people spent a lot of their time clearing the rubbish from the mechanism, day and night.
And a lot of people found their stagings washed away with the flood.

Are boats always good in floods?

So – no. Boats aren’t always good in floods. We don’t have to worry about sandbags and barricades like houses do – but we definitely have our own problems.

Well, I’d better wrap this up now. I need to go canoeing to get some shopping, but first I have to work out why the boat is on the wonk. What is stuck under it, now?!

And it’s snowing again.

The First-Ever Rachel Dodman Guest Blog! Is Wireless Charging a Good Idea for Boats or Houses?

By Julian Dodman

Wireless Charging, Great….. Right?!

Or is it just a marketers fantasy…?

Modern technology is brilliant! We have Gb/s optical cables, full duplex data transmission, Quantum Dot LED displays, the list goes on. 

But there’s one marvel that really ruffles my feathers… wireless charging in mobile phones. It’s made out to be this amazing cable-free way for you to charge your phone, but is it really that great? Let’s find out!

Okay, first let me explain a little bit about how wireless power transmission works. As you may already know, electricity is the flow of electrons through a conductor (or rather, the electrons bumping into each other like a Newton’s cradle). 

Newton’s Cradle by Pixaby on Pexels

Electrical flow or current (remember this for later) is called an Ampere which you might be familiar with! 

So, now you know about electrical current, let’s start talking about electromagnetism. When current flows through a conductor, the charged particles create magnetic fields around that conductor. The strength of this magnetic field is proportional to the current flow, so larger current = stronger field.

Diagram showing electric current flowing through wire
By Julian Dodman, electrical current flowing through a wire and the electrical fields created

The electrical field created by a single line of wire is almost imperceivable, which is why inductors exist (an inductor is just a coil of wire). When current flows through an inductor, the magnetic fields converge and ultimately result in a larger field. 

Diagram of an elecrtical coil/inductor
By Julian Dodman, a coil/inductor increasing the electrical fields created by the current. The same thing happens when you use an extension cable, always unravel the whole length otherwise it can get quite dangerous!

Fields created from an inductor can interfere with other circuits and wires nearby, for example, when current flows through a wire, the fields induce current in the wire right next to it. (Incidentally, this is how transformers work!)

These fields inducing current in nearby conductors is how wireless power transmission works, there’s just one problem, direct current (DC) magnetic fields are incredibly weak which means you’d need to pass hundreds of Amps through your inductor to power anything…. 

This is where alternating current (AC) comes in. I won’t bore you with all of the maths and theory of AC, instead, all you need to know is that it travels back and forth through the conductor at a given frequency (Which is 50-60 Hertz in most countries). 

So what happens if we pass this AC though our inductor? Because it’s essentially traveling through the inductor nearly 50 times a second, we get an exponentially stronger field!

Right, now we’re talking! With our AC inductor, we can place another inductor somewhere near it and power stuff, excellent!

There’s just a teeny tiny problem… if we plug any AC signal into our phone it will instantly become a firework.

man with fireworks
Photo by Rakicevic Nenad on Pexels.com

So, the way wireless phone chargers do it, is they use a transformer to step the mains AC down to a lower voltage (somewhere around 5-10V), use that lower voltage to power our first inductor. This means that our second inductor (the one in the phone), will have 5-10V AC induced into it. 

Then they use a rectifier to convert the nasty AC into 5V DC which is safe for the phone, and won’t bring about New Years celebrations early!

Well… now you know how wireless power transmission works, why don’t I like it? 

The answer is power loss… power loss is a problem that engineers have to work around every day. Electrical circuits aren’t perfect, and some power is lost, either in heat or electrical fields. 

Most circuits in your house/boat will probably have an efficiency of around 80%, which is pretty good in today’s standards. This means that about 20% of the power going into the circuit is lost in heat or electrical fields.

Before I go any further, I want to mention a little someone called Nikola Tesla… I think you might have heard of him. He’s only responsible for most of the tech we use today! 

You’ve probably heard of the Tesla Tower or Wardenclyffe Tower, Nikola Tesla wanted to use this tower to transmit power wirelessly across the world (using resonant frequencies and electromagnetism)! 

Sound familiar? This is the exact same process that our two inductors are doing! 

So why are we not powering anything wirelessly, can anyone tell me…? 

Yes, you at the back there! Correct, power loss. This process has a lot of power loss, most of it is lost in the environment (through capacitances to ground and such). This means that you can only really power anything meaningful a few tens of metres from the tower. 

So back to our wireless phone charger. Because of power loss, you have to charge it a few centimetres from the transmitter… surely that defeats the point of it being wireless?! 

You have to set the phone down on the transmitter… why don’t you just plug it in instead!

Not only that, but there’s even more power losses (yep, more). Converting the AC to transmit it, and converting down to DC to the phone, this process wastes power as well. 

So overall, wireless phone charging is around 30% less efficient than plugging your phone in directly (especially with the new USB-C Power Delivery (that’s a topic for another piece!)), and you don’t gain any maneuverability out of it!

My conclusion is that some marketer somewhere has gone, you know what would be cool, wireless charging. Hey, engineers, make our phones wirelessly charge!

Save your electricity bill / boat batteries… don’t support wireless charging.

Many thanks to Julian Dodman

Rachel The Artist!

Now, that’s not something I thought I’d be typing! I’m a wordsy kinda person, not really a pictures kind of person, but here we are!

Back in March, I started writing humour and satire. The world was in a mess and it needed a smile, so I obliged. The humour field suits homemade pictures really well. Polished, posed, photos don’t look as good as a higgeldy hand drawn ones.

Some of my favourite pieces also have some of my favourite artwork. The top for me is Trumpelstink. I was as pleased with the images as the story.

Trumplestink’s Rise To Power

Trumpestink will be back…

I’m also quite proud of the Librarian Pixies.

Stop Killing Librarian Pixies

I think that my masterpieces are too good to spend their lives passively as computer pixels. So they are now adorning mugs and car air fresheners. That’s right – they have become…

RachelDodman.Com Merchandise!

I have my own Zazzle store, which is full of my unique (and often insane) creations!

I’m not going to be the one to mention shopping for that big event in a few months. I’m not going to be the one to encourage meaningless consumerism and tit for tat gifting.

But… whose life wouldn’t be completed with the ownership of a Trumpelstink mug? Exactly – it is an essential item for all!

And here is the website where you can come by this cornucopia of coolness.

https://www.zazzle.co.uk/store/rachel_dodman_shop


There’s quite a few strings to the RachelDodman.com bow, now. I thought you might like a simplified view of which products you would like (or can afford).

Here goes, the Rachel Dodman flowchart!

by author

You might notice two things.

  1. There’s a lot you can read for free or very little. Why? Because I’m awesome!
    The Medium links I put on Facebook and my email list are Friend Links, which means you can read them for free. I earn money from Medium depending on the number of readers my piece attracts. My blog is free to read and has no adverts (currently – I hope to keep it that way). I have the few charged things to help me earn something at the end of the month!
  2. The merch isn’t on there. That’s because everyone will want it, so there was no point adding it!

So – continue enjoying my content. Make sure it fits in with your bank balance and occasionally, if you are able – pay for the premium services!

And buy a mug 🙂

Tears on a Dance Floor Will Make it Slippery!

time lapse photography of woman standing
Photo by Alexander Krivitskiy on Pexels.com

I’m feeling a bit maudlin at the moment.

We’ve just travelled home in the car, listening to music. I like music. I used to be a rock chic, Marillion, Iron Maiden and Dire Straits. Then I started dancing and I started listening to music differently. I like music that makes me feel. When I dance I try to express that – the way the music is making me feel alters the way I move. Nowadays I find music that doesn’t make me feel something is a bit dull. I still love dancing to the Macarena and the Timewarp, but I wouldn’t choose to listen to them. I prefer songs like Lewis Capaldi’s Someone You Loved. He’s in pain and when he sings I feel that pain.

That’s what music is for.

But I haven’t been able to dance for 6 months. It’s a very close contact sport – not very COVID-19 friendly. A little bit of dance is starting back, but it is not the same. I am very grateful to the venues that are doing it, but it makes me realise what I am missing.

There is less dancing – fewer venues, limited numbers and shorter sessions. There’s no chance to dance with someone other than your partner. No dancing with the lights down, no losing yourself in the music. And only a small number of venues are open. Some are shut with no chance of opening. Hopefully one day they can, but that day is a long way away in a world that I can’t imagine. But one of the most painful things is the people who still can’t dance. We are only allowed to dance within our own family group or support bubble. That means the people who don’t live with a dancer can’t dance. That’s a very high proportion of the dancers. It makes me feel awful, knowing that they can’t do what they love and I can. All in all, I love dancing but hate the way the world is affecting it.

Thinking about dancing makes me hurt. Listening to music that makes me feel – music that I would love to dance to because it makes me feel – hurts too much. It just makes me sad. Everything about it is painful at the moment.

I’ve tried to replace dancing with other things, baking, walking, watching films, but music is always around and it takes me right back down. I will suddenly dissolve into tears at random times. The reason being that a song has come on that makes me feel something and I can’t cope with it.

But I feel silly for feeling so sad. Our incomes were affected a bit, but not a lot. None of us has been ill and no one we know has been. We are privileged.

I suspect I’m not the only one who feels like this. We have all had our lives changed. Some of the changes might actually be good in the longer term. We were consuming far more than was good, safe or necessary. Having less of a ‘buy it now because I can’ culture is no bad thing. But change can be hard.

I look back to the biggest change I’ve ever had – having children. That was incredibly hard. It caused pain and turmoil but was so worthwhile. The other big change I’ve had was moving to the boat. You’ve read about the multitudes of disasters we’ve had, as well as the fun times.
Change can be difficult.
Having children and moving to the boat were my choice. No one told me to do it. Which meant it was exciting and positive as well as challenging and difficult.

This current change is prescribed. I can see it hurting people I care about. I didn’t choose it and I don’t have any control over it. It’s not surprising that I sometimes struggle.

asphalt dark dawn endless
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

I suspect a lot of other people are also finding it difficult. They might not miss dancing (or quietly weep as they wish the supermarket would stop playing emotional songs) but I’m sure most of us have something we miss, even if we also have things we like.

Change is hard and that’s okay.


I’m worried about the world going back to ‘normal’. If dancing goes back to the way it was I’m going to keep crying on my dance partner! Tears on a dance floor will make it slippery!

I think it might be healthy to accept that this might be hard at times and be open and honest about what we find tough.

Start here, drop something in the comments. What do you find difficult?

The BBB Doesn’t Melt!

But I do!

silhouette image of person praying
Photo by Rodolfo Clix on Pexels.com

Pheweeee!

It’s sooooo hot!

My brain is melting and dribbling out of my ears. I’m not writing. I’m not proof reading or editing. I’m not even washing up! I think that when it’s this hot I’m doing well to exist. That’s my aim – stay alive. Success – go me!

Quite a few people have asked me if it’s hot on the boat.

Yes.

It’s hot everywhere!

I think they mean is it hotter on the boat than elsewhere. That’s a much harder question. If the doors are all open and the canopies are unzipped we can get a bit of airflow and it can be quite nice. One big advantage of the boat is that the windows all lift out. It turns the boat into a piece of Swiss cheese! (Without removing them, they only open a little – see the picture below.)

A (dirty) boat window open at the maximum without being removed. Image by author

Today is probably the hottest day we’ve had since we moved to the boat. We have the doors open and some of the canopy unzipped. All windows are open, but none are removed.

How stupid are we!?

The hottest day in a gazillion years and we’ve not removed the canopy or taken the windows out!

I’m guessing that you smart people have noticed a glaring inaccuracy in the opening paragraph of this post.

I wrote ‘My brain is melting and dribbling out of my ears. I’m not writing.’ but obviously I am, or you wouldn’t be reading this. How can that be? Rachel Dodman doesn’t lie (much…).

Mr BBB and I are sitting in the garden of the local pub with an iced soft drink each. We’re in the shade and there is some airflow. Just enough that my brain can work again. And I’m writing this on my phone!

When we get back to The Big Blue Boat, we should take out the windows and remove most of the canopies… but the forecast says is going to rain soon and it will be hot and rainy for a few days. Hot rain. So it looks like I’m going to have to put up with a melting brain and only working when I’m at the pub for a few more days.

What a disaster, having to go to the pub to work!

How are you guys staying cool? Or are any of you in cold places, feeling annoyed at me for grumbling about the heat!?

Lockdown on a Boat (Coronavirus)

Is it as good as it sounds?

We’re all experiencing this interesting time in our own way.

Sad girl looking out of barred window. Lock down.
Photo by PRATAP CHHETRI on Unsplash

Most of the world has some form of lockdown or lifestyle restriction and they change very quickly. People don’t always know what their exact restrictions are – in the last few days I’ve had a few people talk about not being able to exercise for more than an hour and not more than a mile away from their home. That’s not a rule in the UK! At the moment we are allowed out to exercise once a day. There is no time restriction on our exercising and no maximum distance we can travel to do it. (Although we are only supposed to be making essential journeys – a lovely countryside walk is not.) There is a lot of misinformation, but the general advice is to stay home unless essential, wash hands regularly and stay 2m away from people. I suspect that’s the same in most places.

Quite a few people have told me how lucky I am to be locked down on a boat. That I can move whenever I want a different view. At the beginning of this, I thought the same but that’s not the case.

Boats are allowed to move for essential purposes (only lived on boats – leisure boats are not allowed to move at all). They can move for water, emptying the toilet, etc. That’s it. Not because we want to have a different view for a little while. It makes sense. Movement in a boat is still movement. Although it’s a bit sad, looking at the lovely quiet river and not being able to use it. A bit like seeing how empty Trafalgar Square is and not being able to visit. It’s the same for all of us.

What is it actually like?

Being locked down on a boat is a bit harder than in a house.

Space

The kitchen is quite small so there’s not much space to store food. We usually do a small amount of shopping every day. Now, we can’t do that. We’re having to find creative places to store things and when we shop we have to make choices (when there’s enough stuff to make a choice!) that are sensible in terms of storage, as well as nutrition and longevity. We have a tiny freezer compartment in our smaller than average fridge. It’s big enough for about one and a half loaves of bread. So we are not stockpiling or panic buying!

Waste

We usually take our recycling to the local recycling centre, but that’s shut. So we are trying to store it until the recycling centre is open again. We try to buy things without much packaging – but that’s harder at the moment. Like everyone – we are limited by what is available and making as few trips as possible.

Water

We’re trying to make sure we get water once a week so that if we have to self isolate we will not run out of water. Not many houses have to consider that!

People

I hadn’t expected the increase in walkers, though. There is a steady stream of people walking along the opposite bank. I’d expected to it to be deserted outside, but it seems like the world and his dog are walking adjacent to my boat! It feels a bit public when I’m hanging up the underwear to dry or still wearing my (beautiful and incredibly sexy) fluffy red dressing gown at 10:30 in the morning!

By far the biggest thing for us (ironically) is space. We have 3 adults in a 60’x10′ area (actually about 12 feet less, once you take off space for the bow and stern). That’s not a lot of room. We usually manage by going out a lot. We used to dance most nights of the week, where we would meet other people and socialise which gave us time away from each other and with other people. I usually write from the library or cafes.
Now, I am writing sat on the sofa and we are all together an awful lot.

View from a boat window
The view from my window , in a rare moment when there weren’t any people on the footpath.

It will be dire if any of us catch the Covid-19 virus. The boat isn’t big enough to be able to isolate any of us. I suspect it will make for a very unpleasant time!

Ygr Mr BBB was starting a new business venture (GamesHub) which he’s had to stop and his freelancing work has dried up, which will make it harder for him to finance GamesHub when the restrictions are lifted. But he doesn’t have a family to feed, kids to clothe, bills to pay. It could be so much worse.

I guess that’s the point. It could be so much worse.

We have a beautiful view out of the window. We can still go out for walks and the weather is being kind – this would be much harder in a flood! Mr BBB works from home anyway so that’s unaffected, giving us a stable income. I’ve been baking more now I have more time, and we’re all enjoying the results!

I miss my friends and family, but I’m okay. And okay is good enough for the time being.

Flossy and the Bothersome Bovines!

It’s bitterly cold outside and fairly wet, so I’m going to reminisce about the summer. When we had the sun and could feel its warmth.

Those of us on the BBB spent most of the summer travelling. We made it into a different county, and virtually to the sea!

A brown seal laying on a marina pontoon, looking at the camera.
“What ya lookin’ at?!”

We saw the Earith seals, travelled through the tiniest windiest rivers, the largest deepest rivers and visit many lovely pubs. But the story I want to tell you about happened on our way back.


We were planning on stopping at a mooring by a nice pub that we’d used many times. We were cautious – we know the mooring is against a cow field that you have to cross to get to the pub, although the cows are generally used to boaters and not a problem. But it’s still wise to be cautious.

As we came in to moor, another boat called us over. They weren’t exactly moored – they were tying the boat up, but quite wonkily.

It was hard to put my finger on what – but something wasn’t right.

The man from the other boat called us over and asked for some help. It turned out that a sheep had ended up in the river and they wanted to help it out.
That made more sense. they weren’t mooring – they were stopping for a moment to help the sheep.

But the sheep didn’t want to be helped!

Sheep are quite big. Bigger than I imagined. Bigger than most dogs. And sheep in the water get waterlogged, which makes them heavy (and wet – think wet dog smell combined with farmyard). But that wasn’t the biggest problem. The sheep wanted help. But it didn’t want us to get near it. Whenever the three of us got nearer than about a metre, it went further into the river.

We did what us humans do in these situations. We stood around and debated the situation. While we debated, the lady who was on the other boat came over. She walked straight towards the sheep and put her hand out as if it were a dog or a cat.

The sheep didn’t appreciate this. It didn’t go and sniff her hand. It freaked and leapt sideways – straight out of the river!

Great – the sheep is out and safe! We can moor up properly, the other boat can continue on their way.

But…as the more astute amongst you will have noticed – the mooring was against a cow field. Not a sheep field. The other boaters were convinced that there was a bull in the field. I could see heifers and big calves. They don’t put bulls in with calves. But I don’t like being in fields with heifers and calves.

The freaked sheep leapt out of the river and straight into the cows in the field. The cows were now freaked, too. The cows started chasing the sheep around the field – cue Benny Hill music!

Cows are very, very big. And they aren’t very nimble. If the sheep stopped or slowed down (which is likely because it had been swimming for ages) the cows will trample it.
They often put a sign with a phone number for the farmer on the fence to the field. But that was on the opposite side of the field to where we were. For some reason they never put those sign near the river.

Brave (or insane) Mr BBB to the rescue!

He decided to cross the field to find the farmer’s number. The sheep and cows were at the furthest part of the field from him and the cows were totally focussed on the sheep.

Until he got three-quarters of the way across the field. Then the spooked cows spotted him. They chased him across the field! Thankfully, he was faster and escaped.

But… he was on the other side of the field to me and the boat.

A white sheep in long grass to the edge of a cow field
Flossy, hiding from the cows

The sheep (I had named Flossy and decided it was female) had used the distraction to hide in some long grass and trees. So the cows had no aim – they were wandering around looking unhappy and stressed. In front of the boat.

As they passed the windows it became clear that one of them was definitely a bull. With plenty of the things that make bulls…bulls. Quite a lucky chap, in that regard!

So, to recap. The second boat has gone. Ade is outside the field. I am on the boat eyeballing some stressed cows, knowing there is a rogue sheep around.


Mr BBB found the number, which was only for evenings. It was early afternoon. Unsurprisingly, no one answered.

It still wasn’t safe for either of us to cross the field.

So Mr BBB went to the pub while we considered what our options were!

The best idea we could come up with was me moving the boat to the uneven haphazard mooring outside the pub – not in the field. But I would have to get off the boat to remove the mooring pins. Or leave them behind and risk not being able to moor.

I wasn’t happy about the plan, but there wasn’t much choice. Between us, we’d called the council, police, RSPCA and Environment Agency and none of them could help.

Cows outside a window, very close to the window.
Mooove along, please!

As I was waiting for the cows to move far enough away that I could remove the mooring pins, I could see a boat coming towards me.

It had a lot of people, music and lovely looking drinks. And, on further inspection…Mr BBB! As the boat passed, he hopped off and onto our boat!

We waited a bit longer, for the cows to settle, then between us, we unpinned and moved the boat.


We had a well deserved evening at the pub, and tried calling the farmer every half an hour, or so, with no result.

That night we went to sleep to the sound of poor old fluffy bleating on the edge of the cow field. The other sheep had given up calling and gone to sleep.

The next day we had to go, so I don’t know whether Flossy was reunited with her friends or made her peace with the cows. I like to imagine that she made friends with the cows and all were happy. 🙂

A Wee Tale For ya!

Here’s my latest Medium.com writing. It’s quite boaty!

https://medium.com/publishous/a-restroom-revolution-9313adf2c7d9?source=friends_link&sk=e4a477f176777e06a9f1de7a8e6aa7de

Enjoy (and don’t forget to clap)!

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