As I write this, I am angry. Angry and upset. In fact, I am struggling not to cry (the tears wouldn’t do my computer much good)! I can’t blog about the actual issue that has upset me because it involves an individual and I want his permission before writing about him. But his situation relates to a topic I’ve been wanting to blog about for a while, so here goes!
We split society into groups. Adults, children, families, retired people, working people, criminals, carers, disabled people, homeless people, charity ‘do-gooders’. It is similar to the way toddlers learn to categorise shapes. Everyone has a section that they fit in. Squares with squares. Families with families. 
Like shapes, people often fit into more than one category. A wooden blue square could be grouped with other squares as well as with blue objects, wooden objects, toys… One person maybe a worker, part of a family, a criminal and a carer. Being in one group doesn’t stop you being in another group.
For example- I am a mother, a carer, I am a self-employed worker, I am a boat owner. Am I a homeowner- I have no idea! A carer can be disabled. A charity ‘do-gooder’ may also be a criminal! Squares can be hard to categorise, but people are so much harder. We are a complex and contradictory bunch!
Over the last year or two, I have noticed more homeless people in the smaller towns in Cambridgeshire. I expect homelessness in cities like Cambridge and Peterborough (that is quite sad- that I expect there to be homelessness) but it surprises me in the smaller towns. Like most people- seeing homeless people makes me sad. It also confuses me and makes me feel impotent. How do people end up in that situation? No one would choose to sleep in the open when the temperatures are sub-zero. No one would choose to be ignored by most of society and subject themselves to violence and degradation. So how do people end up in that situation? And what is the best way to help them?
We are told that giving money to beggars doesn’t help. That we should give to a homeless charity instead. I buy the Big Issue- it provides a job, ‘A hand up not a handout’ as the magazine states. The magazine is an interesting read, and when I’m finished reading it, it is a good firestarter! It is a great way to help someone and on an equal footing. I am paying them for doing a job. They are standing up and able to chat with me, unlike begging where they would probably be sat on the ground and people would throw coins at them without interacting at all. Like feeding a dog. But the Big Issue only helps a small fraction of the homeless people around. If I am not supposed to give directly to the homeless person, how should I interact with them? It seems callous to stop and chat without giving the person money, and it is dehumanising to cross the road or ignore the person. I have considered offering to buy the person a drink. I imagine that would be helpful, especially when it is very cold. But it would be more respectful to the person to ask first if they want a drink! 
I detest coffee. If I were homeless, I’m sure I would still detest coffee! If someone bought me a coffee without asking, it would be a waste and quite frustrating! Asking the person if they would like a drink involves quite a lot of courage (on my part) and seems to be insinuating that I don’t trust the person not spend the cash on alcohol or drugs. I will sometimes have an alcoholic drink when it’s cold. Who am I to tell someone else that they shouldn’t? Maybe I would develop an addictive habit if I walked in the person’s shoes for long? I understand that more money going to drug dealers perpetuates the problem, but I still feel that it isn’t my position to judge.
We view homeless people like squares. They only belong to a few groups- homeless, beggars and addicts.
But that is an oversimplification.
Some people might beg for money because they have had their benefits stopped and they don’t have cash. They are begging, but they are not homeless or addicts. They may also be disabled (isn’t society supposed to look after the disabled), a parent or a carer. They might not understand the benefits system- which is incredibly complicated!
Some people are homeless because they were evicted from private rented accommodation and they can’t afford the deposit and fees for a new place. They are not begging or addicted to anything. They may be a family in emergency temporary accommodation a distance away from work and schools.
Some people may have problems with addiction. This is a very tough problem. We attach so much blame to addiction, which is most unfair. When my father died of lung cancer after a lifetime of smoking I certainly attached blame to him. But addiction is a chemical thing. Some of us are more susceptible than others and we all encounter different triggers. It isn’t a weakness, although I may have thought so a few years ago! Maybe my judgemental attitude was my own weakness?
Addiction very often goes hand in hand with mental health problems. Mental health problems can be very hard to diagnose and treat. It is very hard to treat someone who doesn’t recognise the need for treatment, and even if the person does recognise the need for treatment there is not often a lot available. Addiction is not considered to be a mental health problem, so there are very few services available. If the services focus on the addiction, rather than the mental health problem that is leading to the addiction it means the services don’t need to provide as much. The government is going to put more cash into youth mental health provision, which is definitely needed- but they also need to put money into adult mental health provision. It is an easy area to ignore and it is easy to blame the person, but to do so is totally wrong.
So, you see why I say people are like shapes? 
We are so complex. We have stripey blue squares, with dots on! And squares with pictures of cats! Not to mention the circles and the triangles..!
Toddlers learn what different shapes and colours look like. They don’t learn that squares are better than circles. Or that orange is superior to blue. Maybe we should follow their example when we look at people. Homeless people are no less worthy than carers. Beggars are not inferior to families. Addicts are not lesser people than retired people. And most of us are a mixture of different groups.
Until we can walk in someone else’s shoes, we don’t know what has led them to be where they are, so who are we to judge them?
I am less upset now! Hopefully, I can post more on this when I have permission.
Back to my normal style for the next post- I promise!
They were awesome, everything you would expect from an Iron Maiden tribute band, plus more.
I saw the multitude of wasps swarming around, so put my hood up and covered my hands with my sleeves to protect myself while I went to remove the mooring pin from the nest. As I pulled the pin out of the ground (feeling rather brave) my head started to hurt. It turned out that I had trapped a wasp in my hood! Wasp stings on the head are incredibly painful! I tried antihistamine cream, which was very hard to apply, under my hair. I tried ice. Nothing made all that much difference, so we went to the pub and I treated the sting with white wine, which worked, a bit. At least- I didn’t care that it hurt as much after the wine!
The drawbridge section was rebuilt in the mid 16th century, and the arches are different styles on the newer and older sections. It has a tiny chapel on the bridge, which was built with the bridge in the 15th century. It was used as a residential dwelling (what a house!) until the early 20th century. Visitors can have a look around by collecting a key from the Norris Museum or the Town Hall.
But I would be prepared! Take a ladder (or maybe just a step), cover the canopy and be neurotic about wasps!
