Imagine living on a boat.
Surrounded by calmness. The lapping water quietly washing past the boat.
The rhythmic whoosh of the wind gently blowing through the trees. A distant bird calling to its mate. Maybe a cow lowing in a field. Remeber – this is the UK though, so we need to add the calm repetitive tapping of the drizzle on the roof. Idyllic? The very essence of calm?
Well, it is not like that at all! It is fantastic, as far as I am concerned, but it is not quiet!
Last night was a great example. It was windy last night (by UK standards, anyway). Yesterday I was up early, late to bed, and quite active during the evening, so I was guaranteed a good night’s sleep. Or so I thought!
I climbed into bed, to listen to the quiet river noises. It wasn’t so much a gentle rustle of the wind- it was howling around the boat!
The Big Blue Boat is made of wood and steel, which both expand and contract at different times as the temperature varies.
Because they expand and contract at different times the boat makes strange snapping, creaking and popping sounds. It is worse when the boat was new and the wood and metal were still settling, but last night it was doing a lot of creaking and snapping. Far more than normal, I am sure!
There was a gaggle of geese who were determined to fly, despite the wind. They weren’t honking- they were shouting. I imagine that if I could understand goose it would have sounded like this:
Dave: Let’s go to the park over there?
Steve: Yes, great idea. The grass is nice over there.
Dave and Steve take off, running along the water.
Dave (shouting): I can’t get any uplift- the wind is blowing me back down to the water!
Steve: I can’t help you, I’m struggling as well!
Dave: This is impossible.
Dave: Whoop! I’m up and airborne! Last one there is a smelly swan!
Steve: I’ll beat you…AAAARRRGGGHHHH!!!!! I can’t get away from the tree….the wind is blowing me….
Dave: Oh no, I’m gonna crash, HELP!
Then, just as I was dropping off I could hear a scraping sound. It sounded a bit like a pirate with a peg leg walking over the roof. Clonk, scraaaaape. Clonk, scraaape. Then there was a loud tapping at the side of the boat. Clonk, scrape, tap, tap, tap. Aha, I thought. That is the hose blowing in the wind. (Honk, HONK, still going on from the geese.)
Don’t forget the creaks and snaps that I mentioned at the beginning. That is still happening. Not rhythmically, but randomly.
Then the ducks started their midnight meeting. Now I had very loud quacking and splashing! The noises on the roof changed to a range of resounding thumps.
I think that was probably the barge pole and broom blowing along the roof. Because I was very much awake, I could also hear the noises I normally sleep through. The train blowing its horn as it comes up to the level crossing. The boat heating. Mr BBB snoring (most unfair- I wasn’t asleep!).
When I woke up this morning I realised that it wasn’t as bad as it seemed. Everything is still where it should be. The hose, broom and pole are still on the roof. The canopy looks untouched. And the boat hardly moved in the wind. I might feel a bit weary, but as I woke up, I must have gone to sleep in the end!